The Science Of Attraction: What Really Draws Us To Our Partners

Have you ever wondered what really draws us to our partners? The science of attraction holds fascinating answers to this age-old question. Understanding the intricacies of attraction can provide valuable insights into the mysterious and complex world of romantic relationships. From physical features to subconscious cues, there are numerous factors at play that contribute to our attraction towards someone. In this article, we will explore the science behind what truly attracts us to our partners, shedding light on the fascinating dynamics of human connection. Get ready to uncover the secrets of attraction and gain a deeper understanding of why we are irresistibly drawn to certain individuals.

Physical Appearance


One of the factors that greatly influences our attraction to someone is their physical symmetry. Studies have shown that people with symmetrical facial features and body proportions are generally perceived as more attractive. This is because symmetry is believed to be an indicator of good health and genetic fitness. When we perceive someone as symmetrical, we subconsciously perceive them as having a higher probability of passing on healthy genes to our potential offspring.

Body Proportions

Body proportions also play a significant role in our perception of attractiveness. The ideal body proportions vary across cultures and personal preferences, but there are some common elements that tend to be universally appealing. For example, the hourglass figure in women, characterized by a slim waist and wider hips, is often considered attractive for its association with fertility and childbearing abilities. Similarly, men with broad shoulders and a narrow waist are often seen as physically attractive due to the perception of strength and virility.

Facial Features

Facial features are another important aspect of physical attraction. Certain features, such as clear skin, symmetrical eyes and lips, and well-defined cheekbones, tend to be universally attractive. This is because these features are often associated with good health and youthfulness. Additionally, facial symmetry, as mentioned earlier, is also a factor that contributes to attractiveness. Various studies have shown that people with more symmetrical faces are generally perceived as more attractive, suggesting that our subconscious preferences for symmetry play a role in our attraction to others.

Body Language


Body language plays a vital role in how we perceive others and how we are perceived by them. Your posture, in particular, can greatly impact your attractiveness to others.

couple, wedding, marriage
. Maintaining an upright posture signals confidence and good health, while slouching and poor posture can make you appear less attractive and less confident. By standing or sitting tall, you exude a sense of self-assuredness that can be incredibly appealing to others.


The way you use your hands and body to communicate can also influence how others perceive you. Using open and expansive gestures can make you come across as more friendly, confident, and approachable. Additionally, mirroring the gestures of the person you’re interacting with can help create a sense of rapport and connection. Being mindful of your gestures and using them to convey positivity and openness can enhance your attractiveness and make you more appealing to others.

Eye Contact

Maintaining good eye contact is crucial in building and establishing attraction. When you make eye contact with someone, it shows that you are engaged and interested in them. It also signals confidence and openness, which are attractive qualities. Avoiding eye contact or constantly averting your gaze can make you seem disinterested or lacking in confidence, potentially diminishing your attractiveness. By maintaining comfortable and genuine eye contact, you can establish a deeper connection and increase your overall allure.



People often underestimate the power of scent in attraction. Our sense of smell is closely linked to the brain’s emotional centers, which explains why certain scents can evoke powerful emotions and memories. In attraction, pheromones play a significant role. Pheromones are chemical signals that our bodies release and perceive, influencing various aspects of attraction, such as sexual interest and mate selection. While the full extent of pheromones’ effects in human attraction is still being studied, some research suggests that certain scents can enhance our perception of attractiveness and increase our desirability to potential partners.

Immune System Compatibility

Believe it or not, our sense of smell can also help us assess a potential partner’s immune system compatibility. Studies have found that we are often more attracted to individuals whose immune system genes differ from our own. This is thought to be an evolutionary mechanism for increasing the chances of offspring with a more robust immune system. It is believed that our olfactory system can detect these differences in immune system genes through scent, contributing to our attraction toward individuals whose genetic makeup complements our own.



The pitch of a person’s voice can have a significant impact on attraction. Studies have shown that women often find lower-pitched voices in men more appealing, associating them with masculinity and dominance. Conversely, men tend to find higher-pitched voices in women more attractive, often perceiving them as youthful and feminine. However, attraction to a specific voice pitch can also vary depending on personal preferences and cultural factors.


Aside from pitch, the tone of someone’s voice can also play a role in attraction. A soothing and melodious tone can be incredibly alluring, evoking feelings of comfort and warmth. On the other hand, a harsh or monotonous tone can be off-putting and reduce the overall attractiveness of someone’s voice. By speaking with a pleasant and engaging tone, you can enhance your attractiveness and captivate the attention of others.


Accents can add an extra layer of charm and intrigue to someone’s voice. An accent can be seen as exotic and unique, making the person more interesting and appealing. Additionally, accents can also provide insights into a person’s background and culture, adding depth to their character. The perception of accents and their attractiveness can vary depending on personal preferences and cultural factors, but overall, accents can be a powerful tool in attracting others on both a conscious and subconscious level.

Personality Traits


A sense of humor is often regarded as an attractive quality in a partner. Being able to make someone laugh not only creates a positive and enjoyable experience but also signals intelligence and wit. A shared sense of humor can foster a strong bond between individuals and enhance their connection. Whether it is through witty banter, playful teasing, or simply being able to find joy in everyday situations, a good sense of humor can greatly contribute to your overall attractiveness.


Confidence is undeniably attractive. When you exude confidence, you portray a sense of self-assuredness and capability that is appealing to others. Confidence signals that you believe in yourself and your abilities, making you someone worth getting to know. It also inspires trust and admiration, as others perceive you as someone who can handle challenges and navigate through life with ease. Cultivating confidence in yourself and projecting it to the world can significantly increase your attractiveness.


Intelligence is another trait that holds great appeal in attracting partners. Intellectual conversation and stimulating discussions can create a strong connection between individuals. Being knowledgeable and intellectually curious can showcase your ability to contribute to meaningful conversations and engage your partner’s mind. This intellectual connection can be incredibly attractive and can foster deep emotional bonds.



Similarity in values is often seen as a crucial factor in attracting and maintaining a lasting relationship. When your values align with those of your partner, it creates a sense of shared understanding and compatibility. Whether it is shared moral values, life goals, or beliefs, having similar values can foster a deep emotional connection and increase your overall attractiveness to each other.


Having shared interests with your partner can significantly contribute to attraction and relationship satisfaction. When you both enjoy similar activities, hobbies, or passions, it provides opportunities for shared experiences and quality time together. It also allows for a deeper understanding and connection as you engage in activities that bring you both joy and fulfillment. Shared interests can create a sense of bond and excitement, making you more attracted to each other.


People tend to feel a natural affinity toward those with similar backgrounds. Whether it is cultural, social, or educational similarities, shared backgrounds can contribute to feelings of ease and familiarity in a relationship. Similar backgrounds can provide a common ground for understanding and empathy, making you more attractive to each other. Additionally, shared experiences and memories from similar backgrounds can create a strong sense of connection and enhance your overall attractiveness as a potential partner.



Chemical messengers called neurotransmitters play a crucial role in attraction and the formation of romantic bonds. Dopamine, often referred to as the “pleasure neurotransmitter,” is released when we experience attraction and reinforces the desire to be in the presence of our partner. Similarly, norepinephrine and serotonin are also involved in attraction, fostering feelings of excitement, infatuation, and happiness. These neurotransmitters interact to create a strong biochemical foundation for attraction and bonding.


Hormones, such as testosterone and estrogen, also influence attraction. Testosterone is associated with traits such as assertiveness, dominance, and physical strength, which can be appealing to potential partners. On the other hand, estrogen plays a role in femininity, nurturing behaviors, and fostering emotional connections. The balance of hormones in each individual contributes to their overall attractiveness and compatibility with potential partners.


Often referred to as the “love hormone,” oxytocin plays a vital role in building and strengthening emotional bonds.

happiness, few, happy couple
. Released during moments of intimacy, such as physical touch and sexual activity, oxytocin promotes feelings of trust, attachment, and bonding. It deepens the emotional connection between partners and enhances their overall attractiveness to each other. Oxytocin is a key contributor to long-lasting relationships and helps foster a sense of security and closeness between partners.

Emotional Connection


Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. Demonstrating empathy in a relationship creates a strong emotional connection and increases your overall attractiveness to your partner. When you show genuine care and understanding for your partner’s emotions, it fosters a sense of trust, safety, and intimacy. Empathy allows you to form a deep emotional bond, making you more appealing as a partner.


Understanding your partner’s thoughts, beliefs, and perspectives is essential for building emotional connections. By actively listening, seeking to understand, and validating your partner’s experiences, you create an environment of acceptance and shared understanding. Feeling understood is incredibly attractive and helps strengthen the emotional bond between partners. When you make an effort to truly understand your partner, you increase your overall attractiveness and create a solid foundation for a lasting relationship.


Effective communication is vital for establishing emotional connections. By openly expressing your thoughts, needs, and emotions, you create a space for your partner to do the same. Engaging in honest and respectful communication allows for deeper emotional intimacy and understanding. It fosters trust and validation while reducing misunderstandings and conflicts. Strong communication skills enhance your overall attractiveness and contribute to healthier and more satisfying relationships.

Status and Resources


While wealth is not the sole determinant of attractiveness, it can play a role in the perception of status and resources. Having financial stability and resources can signal security and provide opportunities for a desirable lifestyle. These factors can contribute to overall attractiveness, as they imply the ability to provide and support a partner and potential family.

Social Standing

Social standing, including factors such as education, occupation, and social connections, can influence perceived attractiveness. Being well-educated and having a successful career can indicate ambition, intelligence, and social competence. These attributes are often viewed as attractive qualities in a potential partner. Additionally, having a strong social network and connections can enhance attractiveness, as it provides a sense of belonging and social support.


Ambition and drive to achieve goals can be attractive qualities in a partner. Being motivated and determined to succeed often indicates qualities such as perseverance, discipline, and a desire for personal growth. These attributes can be appealing to others, as they signify a sense of purpose and a drive to create a fulfilling life. Ambition can create a sense of admiration and respect, ultimately increasing your overall attractiveness to potential partners.

Parenting Potential

Nurturing Abilities

An individual’s nurturing abilities can greatly influence their attractiveness as a potential partner and parent. Demonstrating care, empathy, and attentiveness toward others, including children and animals, signals the ability to provide emotional support and create a nurturing environment. These qualities are often perceived as highly attractive in a long-term partner, as they indicate a willingness to invest time and energy into raising a family.


Responsibility is a key factor in assessing parenting potential. Being responsible and dependable demonstrates the ability to prioritize and meet the needs of a family. Responsible individuals are often seen as reliable partners who can provide stability and support.

couple, lying, bed
. This quality can significantly increase overall attractiveness and contribute to a successful and fulfilling relationship.

Genetic Fitness

When assessing potential partners, our subconscious also considers genetic fitness and the likelihood of producing healthy offspring. Physical attractiveness, as previously mentioned, is one aspect that plays into this assessment. In addition to physical traits, characteristics such as good health, absence of hereditary diseases, and vitality can influence our perception of genetic fitness. These factors contribute to our attraction to individuals who we believe will pass on desirable genetic traits to future generations.

In conclusion, the science of attraction encompasses a wide range of factors that influence our preferences and choices in selecting partners. From physical appearance and body language to personality traits and emotional connections, numerous elements contribute to our overall attractiveness and compatibility with others. Understanding these factors can help individuals navigate relationships and create strong, lasting bonds based on mutual attraction and connection.

Similar Posts